Remembering Marcia Alvey

//Remembering Marcia Alvey

At Basic Rights Oregon, we’re mourning the loss of Marcia Alvey, who passed away from medical complications following a surgery on November 13. We met Marcia four years ago, when she was embarking on the transition that allowed her to live those last years as her true self. From that moment on, Marcia was part of the BRO family: supporting our events through her legal practice, participating in Catalyst, our transgender leadership development program, and sharing her story in a video, to help our followers better understand the trans experience.

Our hearts are with Marcia’s sister Libby, her brother Roger, her two sons, and her mom. We’re honored and touched that Marcia’s family has asked that gifts in her memory be made to Basic Rights Oregon.

We’ve created a link for such gifts here.

Marcia was a special person, whose joy, curiosity and humility touched everyone she met. The spark she felt upon transitioning, and beginning to live the life she’d always wanted, was infectious. We asked the people who were in Marcia’s Catalyst cohort to share their memories of her. Here are some of their responses:

“Marcia had the ability to open in genuine connection, and I was honored to have the gift of her presence and warmth in my life. She was so full of grace. I won’t ever forget what it felt like to have the warmth of her smile turn towards me and warm my tender, sometimes brittle, queer heart. She made me feel more resilient and she was part of a community that made me feel less alone. Thank you, Marcia, and I love you.”

“Marcia filled every room she entered with her light, here joy, and her enthusiasm about finally living her truth. She freely gave her generous energy and her formidable professional expertise to our community. Marcia was the best “fast friend” when we met at a BRO cohort retreat. She became a trusted sister in short order as well. I’m so happy she got to live authentically before it became too late. I’m honored to hold my memories of her, however brief they are, close to my heart. You will always be loved & remembered by your chosen family.”

“I’m not really sure what’s right, saying something about losing a person I knew as a pal, or losing one of precious few trans elders that we had in this community. I was really looking forward to arguing with Marcia about Biden the way we used to argue about Hillary. I really just hope that she knows how much of a pleasure it was to have the ear of someone who knew so much.”

“Don’t allow another sunset to fall without letting the people you care about know how much they mean to you. I dearly love you all. A chosen sister died two days ago. She was someone I’d intended to visit after the madness of this year ended. Regret over what I left unsaid to any of you is not a memory I want to carry if I can help it. You are amazing, Marcia. Thank you for everything.”

Though our hearts are broken at Marcia’s passing, we feel fortunate to have shared the years and memories with her that we did. And we find solace in continuing the pursuits of trans justice and racial justice Marcia was so passionate about. We miss you, Marcia.

Gifts in Marcia’s memory can be made here.

2021-01-21T15:22:12-08:00December 2nd, 2020|News|8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Kelly Whitty December 3, 2020 at 7:10 pm - Reply

    Aaahhh my dear friend. Thank you, BRO, for this beautiful memorial to our beloved Marcia. The first time years ago I heard Marcia mention BRO (she would not mind me sharing this!), while she was still presenting under a different persona, she asked whether it would be a good place for her to support “for reasons better left unsaid.” In short order after that: Marcia came out to me; BRO implemented Catalyst; I encouraged her to apply for the first cohort, and watched her rapidly grow and flourish as herself in substantial part due to the care and support she received from BRO. I was honored to be at her table for BRO Ignites past, including this most recent virtual one. It’s hard to believe that she will not be physically here for future events to help raise crucial funding for BRO. I hope everyone donates generously and from their hearts in memory of this wonderful woman, everything she did for the community, and everything she would have done were she still here among us. <3

  2. Helen L Hagebusch (Busch) December 3, 2020 at 7:59 pm - Reply

    I met Marcia about five years ago, when we were both attending the Friday Night Trans Women’s Support Group at the Q Center. She has shared her story with us, and it was always a pleasure to see her when she could visit. She was an inspiration to the group.

  3. Nancy Anderson December 4, 2020 at 9:15 am - Reply

    I can’t put into words my feelings when I heard of Marcia passing. Such a beautiful person gone way too soon. She had so much good work ahead. I’ll miss your smile and you laugh. Love you Marcia Rest in peace.

  4. Teri Whitty December 4, 2020 at 10:01 am - Reply

    Dear Marcia, Although I didn’t know you personally, I do know you through my daughter Kelly, and I know your wonderful mom. You will always be an inspiration for your bravery, warmth, generosity, and love. You have left a beautiful and treasured legacy, dear Marcia.

  5. Theresa O. December 4, 2020 at 1:12 pm - Reply

    Marcia was a family friend for over 20 years, as well as my lawyer. She was such a bright light to all who met her. I was so lucky to see her become her authentic self. She will be greatly missed, but never forgotten. My heart is with her family, especially her sons, and her friends.

  6. Laurel December 4, 2020 at 4:26 pm - Reply

    I had the amazing fortune to meet Marcia through my partner who was in her catalyst cohort. Whenever we were in Portland Marcia always knew a great queer-owned spot to meet for a bite to eat and chat. She was a person who made you feel as if you’d known her your whole life. We are devastated that she will not get to meet our baby, hear about my partner’s new job, and give and receive amazing hugs over a delicious meal. Marcia, thank you for touching our lives. We miss you every day.

  7. Paula Gaikowski December 16, 2020 at 7:59 am - Reply

    My own brother died exactly one month before, Marcia did. Because of this preoccupation, I didn’t email Marcia for awhile. Finally, a few weeks ago, I sent an email, then another and finally one with the words, “I’m worried please answer!”

    Last night, I received this from Marcia’s sister,

    Paula,

    This is Marcia’s sister. Marcia passed away a week ago after having gall bladder surgery. I am so sorry to tell you this way.

    I was heartbroken, however, you my Femulate sisters are the only ones who can understand this relationship and the loss. I really can’t share it with my wife, family or friends.

    I have not transitioned, but I know that Marcia found peace in doing so. In her last email, she expressed to me the joy and happiness she felt that she was now seen and accepted as a woman by her colleagues and friends.

    Paula,

    I was thinking of you yesterday on my drive home from work. I wanted to tell you this information in the worst way; like a girlfriend would.

    It is not earth-shattering. I just had the realization due to a few moments and experiences that there is hardly any remnant of maleness left. I am a woman now. I feel it very much physically. I feel it very much socially.

    I went to the paint store yesterday and bought two gallons of stain and supplies for my sons to stain my deck at my condo. The clerk put it all in a box. When it was time to go, he handed me the roller extension pole then said, “Let me help you out with this ma’am.”

    You know what? I was thankful and relieved. I also felt very much a woman…

    I believe that we never really lose the people we love, even to death. Their love, thoughts and principles leave a permanent imprint in our hearts. They continue on in this way in every action, belief, and choice we make. So too will you, dear Marcia, in our community you will be with us

    I’ll miss you dear girlfriend, thank you so much for always being there and listening and advising. You left us too soon.

  8. Robert M. Alvey December 30, 2020 at 7:48 am - Reply

    Sad to discover why I didn’t get a Christmas card from Marcia this year. I knew them both. Martin and Marcia and liked them both. My cousin who opened his house to my daughter, Erin, while she was traveling. A good person to carry the Alvey name.

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